Dawn Chorus
by spectroscopes
Summary: What if she did come back, the way she said? (This is set directly after Final Fantasy VII, more or less ignoring the entire Compilation.) CxA
1. Comet Trails

The meteor fell. Nothing they did had mattered in the end. It had crashed into the planet, cracking it open like a spoon cracks the shell of an egg — the phosphorescent yolk, the Lifestream gushing out. They had been too late for the magic to work but it did anyway, … because of her.

* * *

_"I think I'm starting to understand."_

* * *

Cloud was alone when he awoke in Tifa's house — or the replica of her house — in Nibelheim. His head ached; his muscles protested as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. What had happened? He tried to remember.

They had defeated Sephiroth. Sephiroth had defeated them. He wondered how long he had been asleep, or how he had even got to Nibelheim. Where was everyone? A sudden wave of nausea hit him and he felt to his knees, emptying his guts directly onto the floor. Vaguely, he heard someone running up the staircase — that surprisingly light but confident step could only be Tifa — and place a comforting hand on his back.

"I'm sorry," he said, sitting up and wiping his mouth.

"It's okay," she said. "Don't worry about it." She handed him a towel and he nodded, wiping his mouth. He was aware all of a sudden of how sweaty he was; he felt disgusting and shrugged away from her.

"That last battle really took it out of you," she said, standing and crossing to the dresser, pulling out some towels and cleaning things. "You've been asleep for days." She smiled at him, but he thought she seemed sad.

"I don't remember what happened," he admitted.

She sat back down on the bed next to him. "You were in the Lifestream. It makes sense." She smiled that strange, wistful smile again. "You must have had more Mako poisoning than anyone in history. It's amazing you survived — again." He nodded, he remembered that. But —

"Tifa." The silence stretched between them for what felt like eons.

"Midgar was completely destroyed," she said eventually. "Millions of people died." Millions of people returned to the planet. He wondered how many of their souls tried to reach those they loved, to say good-bye, but were absorbed into the Lifestream before they could.

"We failed," he said.

Tifa shook her head, though he suspected she felt the same way. "She wouldn't say that," she said. Aeris. He knew that Tifa was right. 'You did your best,' she would say. 'That's all that matters.' But Cloud had spent his whole life failing to protect people: his mother, Tifa, and finally Aeris. What would Vincent say?

"This has added one more sin upon me," he murmured.

"Cloud." Tifa gripped his arm. "Stop it." He looked at her. "We're still here," she said. "It wasn't a failure. The whole world might have ended and it didn't. You didn't fail."

* * *

_"An answer from the planet. I think I can meet her there."_

* * *

Barret was in Kalm with Marlene and Elmyra. Cid returned to Rocket Town to repair the Highwind. Yuffie had travelled to Wutai. Vincent and Reeve had disappeared. Tifa said she didn't think that Reeve had been in Midgar when it was destroyed, and she also didn't believe that Vincent had returned to his slumber beneath the Shin-Ra Mansion although she couldn't be sure.

Cloud thought of all this as he scrubbed himself raw in the shower. He wondered if she remembered what they had talked about after she pulled him from the Lifestream; maybe she thought he had forgotten. He wondered how he would say goodbye to her. Not goodbye forever, but goodbye for — how long? He couldn't say. But he had to do this alone.

"What do you think?" he asked her, feeling naked in civilian clothes.

She looked him up and down. She was still so beautiful; she caught the sunlight, and glowed in it. But she looked tired. "I think —" she began, but trailed off, and shook her head. "You look good, Cloud." When she met his eyes again he found that he was unable to resist pulling her into him, burying his face in her hair.

"You're leaving, aren't you." It was a statement, rather than a question, vibrating in the air around them. He nodded, and pulled away from her. He wondered what she was feeling in this moment: she didn't cry, she wasn't angry. It almost seemed like something had been lifted from her, something she was sad and relieved to lose all at once. She pulled him back in and pressed her face into his chest. "I'm going to see you again, Cloud."

He nodded again, and then turned to leave.

"Cloud —!" she said, and he turned back to look at her. She smiled, and then shook her head. "No, nothing. Take care of yourself."

"You too, Tifa."

* * *

_"You don't know where it is. You search and you travel until you feel it."_

* * *

Cloud slept out in a field of golden flowers, between the dirt and the stars. The flowers reminded him of the ones which grew at the church in Midgar, and in the garden at Aeris and Elmyra's house. He realised for the first time that these places probably no longer existed; his heart ached to think of them as destroyed, all the flowers crushed and scattered and —

Every living thing returns to the planet.

"Do you remember —?" he said aloud, closing his eyes. "That night after I took you home, we said good-night. I tried to wait until you were asleep so I could leave. But you knocked on my door. You came in, and we —"

(He thought of Aeris, shining in the darkness that night.

"We'll be quiet," she had said, pushing him down onto the bed.)

"I should have known better than to try to leave without you that morning."

_('Don't worry about it.')_

* * *

He awoke with a start, breathing hard. It was dawn; the upper edge of the sun was just kissing the horizon, casting everything in a strange violet light. It struck him as strange that this was the first nightmare he had ever had about the event. He stood, and closed his eyes. There was a gentle breeze, bringing the scent of the day, of spring, of rebirth.

He set off early that morning. North.

* * *

There is a small village at the top of the world where it's always winter, even when it's spring.

"What brings you here?" the hotel clerk asked. "Snowboarding season is over. It's too warm now. Besides —" he left the rest unspoken; Cloud knew: nobody is taking a snowboarding holiday after meteorfall.

"I'm looking for someone," he said. Most people were.

Without a snowboard the only way to continue was on foot. It was cold, wet, exhausting work, but the further Cloud walked the more sure he was that he was travelling in the right direction. He felt it, like a thrumming in his chest that only got louder — gold, and silver, and calm, and bright.

There was a cabin in the woods, near the frozen lake. It was dusk when he arrived; the last rays of the sun caught the snowflakes as they fell, glistening, to the floor. Cloud stood in the snow field for what felt like hours, and then trudged forward.

* * *

_I guess that this must be the place._

* * *

He breathed in and out, the cold air crystallising his breath before him. Then he pushed the door to the cabin open.

She was there, back to him, sitting by the fire. As he entered, and dropped his sword to the ground, she turned and smiled.

"You're here," she said, her voice shimmering around him. "I've been waiting for you."


	2. Ghosts

When she turned her head, she caught the light from the fireplace and seemed to glow — red, and gold; his sword fell heavily to the floor. He was transfixed and she was smiling, almost laughing. He took a tentative step, feeling almost as if he should ask for permission, and then crossed the room to sit — not next to her, but close: so close he could reach out and touch her, so close they were breathing the same air.

"Was it difficult for you to find your way?" she asked him. He looked down and shook his head, no. She leaned forward to look up into his face, to force him to meet her eyes. "Why do you look so sad?"

What would he have said before? Just tired, maybe. Or maybe he wouldn't have looked sad at all. "Because I failed," he said. She looked confused. He felt all the grief of the past year — no, the past seven years — stir deep in his chest. "We took too long," he said.

She shook her head, and smiled, "No — you didn't."

"We didn't defeat Sephiroth in time," he said. "Meteor fell."

She reached forward and put her hand to his face; she was still smiling but looked desperately sad. "You did your best," she said. "Nobody could have done it better."

Zack — he wanted to say, Zack could have. He looked up. The way she was looking at him, it was as if she were trying to say something to him, something she had no words for: something more than words. He reached out and touched her at last. She smiled as he ran a leather-gloved thumb gently over her mouth as if to say, 'I'm real.' He was frightened; his heart pounding. It was too much, too cruel: he felt sure that if it weren't real —if she were a ghost, or a dream, if she flickered out — he would die. His hand trembled. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his: solid, heavy, and real. He closed his eyes, and shifting, kissed her.

It was just ... as he remembered. Her mouth warm, inviting. Just as it had been the last time he kissed her — curled into the corner of the gondola together, whispering, "I'm right here, I'm right here," — before everything had fallen apart.

It didn't matter now, in this moment, what was real. It didn't matter that he had failed. Nothing mattered except this: Aeris was here, Aeris had come back to him. He pulled her to her feet and into him, wrapping his arms around her as right as he could without hurting her as she pressed kisses to his mouth, his closed eyes, his salt-stained cheeks, his neck, his clavicle.

"I never blamed you," she whispered as he pushed her jacket off. "Nobody could have done more." She kissed him so hard he thought his heart might stop. She kissed him so hard he thought she must love him the way he loved her. She was so golden, so beautiful; maybe it didn't matter if she were alive or dead. In this moment she was so real. She was a flock of birds singing in his head, ringing. Silver and pink. Gold and red. He loved her from her heart to her skin. Shimmering, soft. Aeris. A gently-blooming flower; ocean child, forest woman, flower girl.

He thought he felt her mind touch his, to say something without words. He felt warm, understood, forgiven — no, not forgiven: as if there were nothing to forgive.

They fell into bed, she kissed all his fresh scars and his bruises. Her body was unmarked, unbroken. He pressed his hand over her heart and felt it beating. She smiled, mocking, and kissed him. He moved his hand lower and made her shiver with delight.

* * *

Cloud woke early the next morning, alone. He pulled his clothes on, heart pounding, and looked through the small cabin for Aeris: she wasn't there. He felt breathless, gripped the edge of the table to steady himself. His ears were ringing. Where was she? He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

He stepped out into crisp fresh snow which had fallen overnight. The early morning light was cold, moonlike. He looked around and saw the blush of pink amid the dark pines and the snow. She was standing by the lake, alone. He felt a chill on his face and realised he had been crying and his cheeks were wet. Wiping at them with his sleeve, he trod forward through the snow.

As he approached she turned and smiled. She ran to him and took his hand, pulling him to the lake with her: he realised she was barefoot. She had been standing in the water. "Aeris—!" he said, but she just laughed and pulled him into the ice-cold water. It was such a shock he felt all his breath leave his body and his muscles stiffen up. She pulled him in and threw her arms around him.

"Why?" he breathed as she trembled in his arms.

"So I know I'm alive," she said and he realised she was crying. It was as hard for her as it had been for him; it had always been as hard for her as it had been for him.

"I'm here," he said, holding her tight. "I'm here for you."

She gripped him so hard he thought her nails might draw blood: verifying she was alive, verifying he was there. "You're here," she said. "I thought I'd be waiting forever."

"I felt you calling," he said. He lifted her so she was almost out of the lake, still holding her tight, and carried her to the edge. As he placed her on the ground he took her hand to lead her back to the cabin and it was not for several years that he would reflect that once he had carried her into a lake close to the summit of the world and that time he had never expected to carry her out.

* * *

They built a small life together, folded over at the edges. Aeris planted and foraged; Cloud hunted. Both had nightmares. When he sensed Aeris was dreaming he would pull her into an embrace and repeat, "You're okay, you're not in the lab. You're okay." She did the same for him.

They both knew this life would not last forever, though sometimes Cloud wondered why. He thought of a life here at the edge of the earth and the sky: foraging, hunting, and having babies. He felt stronger: still fractured, still confused — but healing. Aeris was strong now too. He wondered if the planet was healing as well. He knew they would have to go back. The life was too small.

One day, a letter came. The general store owner pressed it into Cloud's hand as he handed over his potions and ether. He gave it to Aeris that evening and she looked at it: a small, white rectangle: crisp and clean. "I wrote to Tifa," she said. He nodded. He knew she wanted to see their friends; he was ready, when she was ready.

"I miss her," he said.

She smiled. "Me too."


End file.
